How to Effectively Use Mediation to Settle with Your Contested Canton, Georgia Divorce – Part V
In part five of our ten part series on how to effectively use mediation in your contested divorce case, we will continue to examine steps to take to make sure you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are ready for mediation. This blog will also work if you and your spouse plan on using mediation to settle your case without an Atlanta Divorce lawyer. In this blog, we go into how to handle yourself at mediation and what usually goes on at mediation.
Mediations typically start with an opening statement by either side. Most of the time, you should have your Atlanta divorce lawyer make the statement to keep it factually accurate and non-inflammatory. It does not do any good to increase the tension at the beginning of mediation. Avoid an opening statement full of vile accusations, conduct issues, and inaccuracies. This has no effect other than to sabotage mediation; when the whole purpose of mediation is to avoid that type of conflict.
After the parties have given opening statements, the mediators tend to meet privately with the parties in what is called a caucus. In the caucus session, the more inflammatory facts can be made known to the mediator; and can be communicated to your spouse in a much more pleasant and less hostile manner by the mediator - rather than the opposing side.
During the process, you must show restraint and remain polite to your spouse, his or her divorce lawyer, and the mediator. You catch more honey than you do with salt. Undue hostility only halts or hinders the mediation process. Even if you do not like the other lawyer, or your spouse, you can only help your case by remaining polite and cooperative. The goal of negotiation is not to score points off of the other side, but to work towards a mutually agreeable resolution. Remaining positive and polite is a prerequisite for achieving such a result. Moreover, politeness may help settle the case in ways you cannot predict. If your spouse has spent the past few months telling their Atlanta divorce lawyer what a vile despicable person you are and you come to mediation completely the opposite, your spouse’s divorce lawyer may begin to have concerns that his or her client has seriously exaggerated their position in the case, which could ultimately assist with reaching a settlement.
Sometimes mediation is a slow process. Often times, caucuses take an inordinately long time, at least from your prospective; and you think you are doing nothing but "wasting time". To the contrary, you are letting the process work, and you are waiting while the mediator is listening to and making points with the other side. Remember, the longer the mediator is caucusing with the opposition, the more information you are likely to receive in your caucus about the other party's position. Only with this type of full information can mediation be successful.
It often takes more than one session for mediation to work. Mediation of difficult cases is not an instantaneous event; and sometimes only small progress may be made at the first mediation session. You should expect subsequent sessions in order to reach the desired goal.
Many judges state before a trial begins that they do not have the time to really get to know either party, nor do they have the time to understand what they have been through during their marriage. They do not have the resources to obtain information about each parties schedule if custody or visitation is contested. Often, their orders look like someone took a crowbar to a block of mortar to try and carve out a sculpture. At mediation, the parties have the ability to take the time to draft a settlement agreement with surgical precision in comparison to taking their case to trial.
