Is My Spouse Cheating?
One of the many causes for divorce in the United States is adultery. If there is a lack of trust, or if one spouse has suddenly changed his or her behavior or routine, it may lead the other spouse to wonder: Is my spouse cheating? Although it may not be prudent to engage the services of a private investigator or divorce attorney immediately upon your suspicion, keeping an eye out for certain warning signs may give you the information necessary to pursue those steps. Below is a non-exhaustive list of signs that may indicate your spouse is cheating. None of these red flags are conclusive, but if you notice that your spouse is engaging in any of the behavior listed below, beware.
Common red flags that your spouse may be having an affair:
➢ Your spouse begins buying you more gifts than usual. These may be "guilt gifts" purchased because your spouse feels guilty about the affair. Showering you with presents may make him or her feel better.
➢ Your spouse’s behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts, you know your spouse better than anyone.
➢ Your spouse frequently picks fights with you. A philandering spouse may do this so that he or she has a reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. Or, a cheating spouse may do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
➢ Your spouse constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. He or she may say things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend."
➢ Your spouse has lost interest in you. He or she may avoid speaking to or interacting with you. He or she may become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings. Additionally, he or she may stop paying attention to your children or home life in general.
➢ Your spouse’s taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, she always listened to country music but suddenly starts listening to jazz music. Your spouse might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because their lover listens to it.
➢ Your spouse criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and alluring.
➢ Your spouse easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.
➢ Your spouse becomes more secretive. For example, your spouse begins closing doors when you are around, when before he or she would leave them open. Or, your spouse becomes extremely protective of his or her cell phone or computes.
➢ Your spouse stops saying, "I love you."
➢ You spouse acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her. If your spouse if cheating, it may make him or her uncomfortable or feel guilty if you do something nice for them, because it forces them to think about what he or she is doing.
➢ Your spouse accuses you of cheating but has no evidence. This also may be evidence of a guilty conscience.
➢ Your spouse stops being affectionate and loses desire to engage in intimacies with you.
➢ Your spouse has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he or she does not wish to discuss it or become very defensive.
➢ Your spouse spends extended and unexplained periods away from home and he or she is not easily available via telephone, text or email.
➢ Your spouse begins talking more and more about a new friend of the opposite sex. But, when you ask or details about this friend, your spouse refuses to give you details, or becomes defensive.
➢ Your spouse’s friends begin acting strange toward you. If your spouse is engaging in an extramarital affair, it is likely that his or her friends are aware it and they are likely to aid your spouse in keeping you in the dark. This may lead them to act strange in your presence, or avoid contact with you at all.
➢ Your spouse is dishonest with you more frequently, especially regarding his or her whereabouts, activities and friends.
If you think your spouse has been cheating on you and want to explore your legal options, please contact one of our experienced family law attorneys.
By A. Latrese Martin, Associate Attorney, Meriwether & Tharp, LLC